WHERE IT’S ALL GONE TO SINCE

I’m moving soon which is fun and having company soon after and am jazzed. Particularly as friends are moving too and having company at the same place and time- all outside under a big summer sky. I’ve been told half-jokingly I oughta “register” at Target for the affair. Half-seriously? If you’re getting married you register like that right? Or having your bar mitzvah?

Do people register nowadays for an informal housewarming?

It’d be proper to send invitations. Through the mail. But anyway the concept got me thinking about what I “need”, even though a big part of my shtick entails walking around twenty-four seven proclaiming non-materialism to the point of only needing the rags on my back and warmth to survive the winter and wireless access and fussing only about such crucial things and not much else.

Except for self-deprecation.

But yes moving. What I need. A couple of camp chairs. The four cheesy ones I bought a couple of years ago all finally broke, one by one, the last one a week or so ago. I’d say from my fat ass (as each broke while sitting) but really because they were cheapest and like so much else nowadays built to break. But I do like camp chairs as they’re wonderfully mobile and can without a thought be flung over the shoulder and I do like being able to swiftly relocate to the oddest of places.

They’re on the list.

Switch plates. I figure twenty, twenty-five of em? And being the price per has no ceiling and there’s no need to skimp as life is right now, I’d say the only thing on the list are camp chairs and switch plates. And the chairs can be cheesy. But cash is preferred in lieu of actual switch plates so I can enjoy the dopamine rush of standing in the aisle at the store and sorting through for the right ones. That’s a moment. And holding a piece of paper with my notes and maybe little pictures with numbers and arrows and diagrams which for me is not how I usually go about anything! But it’s been quite a few years since I’ve bought new switch plates and I’ve left quite a few sets on countless walls in different places. And they’re better for it right? I don’t remember the exact whats and wheres, but my lifestyle was such that whenever I’d move I’d go through the same ritual of getting new ones. Unfortunately I hadda let that go.

Long story.

There oughta be some important things on the list—some of the things I’ve lost over the years—well since I lived in that way too big house—the one that was filled underground-to-ceiling with stuff. Well, never underground-to-ceiling wall-to-wall literally, but in comparison there was stuff. Where it’s all gone to since God only knows.

Lost.

I can’t live in a place with off-white plastic switch plates. You know the kind that are just everywhere and anywhere? Like I can’t live in a subdivision. The kind that are everywhere and anywhere. And it’s hard for me to be in fast food places mostly, the kind that are just everywhere and anywhere. Or be surrounded by people, well the kind that are everywhere and anywhere.

But I digress.

I like bronze switch plates best. Heavy ones. Plain brass are fine (not too shiny) for wall outlets that are mostly of sight, mainly to keep the overall cost down. And they look so clean and neat. I like wood or ceramic if the plate is an interesting piece of art or a sought after color, but as a general rule not something painted or too overt or gaudy. Understated is what we’re going for. More formal and classic, maybe copper, for the main lights of the house and for those rows of three switches or odd switch/plug combination or multiports.

Am I being too specific?

Okay. But I’ve not been in a position for a long time nor cared one bit whether I’ve had switch plates on my walls I can live with. And I’ve had to learn to sleep with all this plastic. So I’m ready to get a screwdriver and take down these shitty ones and put up my own.

It’s like a whole thing.