HOMELESS NEWS: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

Homeless News reports the Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson, President and Founder of The Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny says, “Since feminists have gone unchallenged for decades, many have become fascists in pantsuits who tolerate zero dissent.” and waxes eloquent that “The feminists’ fake outrage over what men say is absurd. How about the rights and feelings of men? We’re hurt when our jobs are threatened with false accusations of “misogyny.” We have the right to express our views without being shut down.”

Poor men. And he a rare breed too: black, conservative, and a Christ-loving man of the people.

And awfully scared of being called a misogynist! What do you think fair maidens? Does that make you a misandrist? Homeless News had to look that word up. Just for you. We feel you can hate any man you like though, whether outfitted in said pant suit or more traditional garb.

Today downtown alternate side of the street parking is in effect. We’ve only heard bad things about this, namely it’s an example of more government control in our personal lives. That’s what some people on the street say. Like Billy at the feed store: “we should be able to park wherever the hell we want” and him describing tussling with the street cleaner truck at 4:30am just to manuever a parking space.

At the feed store!

From Arthur Delaney at the Huffington Post: Mr. Delaney reports that U.S. Labor Secretary Thomas Perez says, “When I hear people on Capitol Hill say the long-term unemployed are unemployed by choice, I wanna punch ‘em,” Delaney adds Perez paused and smiled. And reporters laughed. Huh? Homeless News can’t help but wonder if the Secretary’s outdated, out of vogue egalitarian attitude can past muster in many places nowadays. What do you think? Homeless News is on the case! The Secretary adds, “The thing they say that angers them as much as anything is when politicians suggest they’re unemployed by choice, they’re just sitting at home eating bonbons,” Delaney thoughtfully mentioned that the Secretary didn’t cite a specific example of a politician alleging bonbon consumption by unemployed people, which we think tells a tale.

He so clever.

This off the wires: it’s been reported that yesterday’s sworn enemies are once again our friends and yesterday’s friends are currently sitting on the fence watching the world go by. For the moment. And use of the I word is being analyzed to determine if there’s a bias at play here, that”illegal” is now a cuss word though at Homeless News most of the staff can trace their roots back to off the boat. Or overland somehow.

Oh when asked yesterday by the Hollywood Reporter if she had an interest in a “political talk show,” Sarah Palin says “I hear everyone recently got canned from ‘The View,’ maybe a show like that needs a punch of reality and a voice of reason from America’s heartland to knock some humble sense into their scripts. You know, someone willing to go rogue.”

Rogue?

Today’s top headline on cable news: “Sarah Palin, now a reality TV star who is rumored to be one of ABC’s candidates to join Whoopi Goldberg on “The View”… ” Hey, didn’t she start the rumor? Yesterday? We saw it here! And being last year she was “rumored” to be joining Al Jazeera. Homeless News is eager to see which career path our lovely media darling may take.
We’re watching.

And so are you! Finally, NPR reports they spot an early feminist hero in the “Little Engine That Could”, CNN interviews former first lady Barbara Bush who said her Crawford ranch is “slightly motel-ish”, Katie Holmes-Cruise via TMZ has taken off her shirt while Brazil weeps, with Angela Merkel pictured as Christ The Redeemer, triumphantly standing over Rio in victory.

Now that’s news. Remember to like us on Facebook!

Angela-Merkel_Twitter

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5 thoughts on “HOMELESS NEWS: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

  1. Omg I love this. Wish this was a real newspaper and you published every day. God the world we live in is absurd!! Why do so few of us see that???

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