HOMELESS NEWS: THE LEVANT

levantHomeless News is back and UP to the minute and ahead of the curve here.

HN reports that now that the war in Iraq is back on, prepare to be inundated with pundits and politico talking-heads once again mispronouncing the name of the country.

It’s not Eye-rack, it’s E-rock. Know the language. Eyerack is from the old times. George Bush times, remember him? He’s a rancher slash painter now. Liz and Dick don’t seem to remember and have rolled out their sideshow and they can’t pronounce the name. And now that the Levant is in play, neo cons, libertarians, holymen, bleeding hearts, the mainstream media, big biz—they’re all coming out of everywhere—scripts in hand—attempting to be smooth—reciting Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant or Islamic State of Iraq and Syria and debating whether it’s ISIS or ISIL and the Caliphate too, overall having a REAL time of it twisting their tongues! How many wars are we gonna have over there before this idiocy wanes?

It does get us laughing.

In local news Pesto’s Kitchen is now open for lunch. We report it’s the freshest table d’hôte menu this town’s ever seen, this side of Hardee’s. Pesto and Conchetta and Joey are pulling out all the stops with their prix fixie luncheon, nineteen dollars gets you an appetizer, main course and dessert. Seating starts 11:30. Pesto accepts EBT, but only for à la carte.

Nineteen dollars?

Who in our fair Fairview can pay that? Out of our own pockets? We’re sad about this as Homeless News does think Pesto and those around him reign, and we’re grateful they’ve fed us so many times before, carte blanche, when visiting us in the studio-  Pesto showing up with his mobile kitchen and Conchetta following diligently behind, carrying a cage full of chickens. But nineteen dollars?

We’re hungry.

Homeless News reports CNN has been running the Hillary Clinton Town Hall Book Tour and we must say Wolf Blitzer’s self-congratulations and kissing of CNN chief international correspondent, Christiane Amanpour, has given us pause. John McCain did tell Wolf yesterday that he knew what to do in Eyerack and Wolf listened closely to all that, as he usually does for his friend. But we’d like know who would’ve predicted that 1400 years ago when the Prophet Mohammed died and the Sunnis went one way and the Shiite the other, that an exceptional country from halfway around the world would attempt to bankrupt and sacrifice their own people, in so many ways, and keep on doing it, under the guise that we could build a nation likened after our own, and that the icing on the cake would be we all make money and live happily ever after we shaft them?

How much land does a man need?

Icing for some. CNN says tune in tomorrow for more of Blitzer and Amanpour, chumming it up.

In more popular news: Arthur Delaney of the Huffington Post reports Bill Clinton sought advice from former DC mayor Marion Barry on public humiliation and then off the wires personnel at Newark Liberty International Airport have confiscated a batch of cookies with a street value of at least $50,000 and after ten years the reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians is in a ratings slump so one of the younger, (how old is she?) walked the catwalk, baring nipples, in a see through top. Cha-ching? Oh and that Scientologist Tom Cruise, in the blockbuster to be Edge of Tomorrow, is a futuristic soldier who is killed during a battle with alien invaders. Art imitating life?

We think so.

Today’s weather: it’s soupy like it was this time last year and the same people in the same places are doing the same thing they were then. Homeless News reports it’s “all good”, as we’ve all got to be strong right? Plus, we do know how unpredictable the weather can be.

Up next: Fairview Municipal band will perform the remix version of more of that rad John Souza. And remember we’ve changed our frequency and are now at 1500 on your AM dial.

That Souza is rad, doncha think?

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7 thoughts on “HOMELESS NEWS: THE LEVANT

  1. Pete, you are amazing. Do you have a button that you push so it all just rolls out? What a story. I especially liked the part about sacrificing us for them. Osama must be so happy. 😦

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