Fixated. On oddities. From time to time, strange little things. I face them head on when they come up. Then they go away. Until they rear their ugly heads again.  They always do.

Know what I mean?

I hate my neighbor. His fat, puffy face. His awkward gait. His squeaky, incoherent way of talking. Well I can’t understand what he says really. Yeh it’s my version of hate. I do rationalize it though, logicalize it. I theorize he’s incapacitated and shy, awkward like his gait, unable to do better. I make excuses for him.

And I’m nice to him.

That’s the problem. When we first met I was friendly as he spoke to the ground. I found it curious so small talked him some. He practically put his arm over his face and walked through his front door. How peculiar. He has big dogs that live in his little apartment. No one comes to visit him. He throws a steady stream of crushed beer cans away. His blinds are always closed, even on the most stellar of days.

He does come out to walk the dogs though.

One summer day I was out front relaxing and so was my cat, and his dogs weren’t on their leashes, and they made a beeline right past me and chased my cat into the woods plum up a tree. The neighbor too waddled past me, leashes in hand, with that face. The best I could muster was “Good thing you’re carrying that those leashes, huh?”

He didn’t respond.

It was a bit aggressive, for me anyway. I finally located the cat and got myself all bloodied up getting him down, while the neighbor drove off to God knows where. I have a scar on my thigh.

A conundrum. So I bought him a twelve-pack of PBRs cause I felt I was rude. I left it on his front porch as a gesture. Why did I do that? Cause I’m fixated. On oddities. Like how much I hate my neighbor. And want to be nice to him.

Crazy huh?

He works as a waiter he said. Well I knew it cause of his getup. I smiled and asked where, being soft and easy. His front door is next to mine so we can’t help but see each other. One nods their head naturally and makes short chitty-chat in such proximity right? It’s hard not to. I’m not looking to marry him. He told me the restaurant and I know it. I’ve never been so I said “One weekend I’ll come in with friends and we’ll have dinner and fun and you’ll get a juicy tip”. He mumbled something and looked at me like I had three heads. I didn’t mean tomorrow. Then he practically put his arm over his face and got in his truck and drove off.


I can’t stand him. Yet I wanna be nicer. Why do I do that?

I may move out of here.  I don’t like living next to such a morose person. You’d think it’d be no big deal but I think nicer people ought to be recipients of my breeziness. No need for such a zen buzz kill. I have zero interest in any way shape or form in anything other than simple neighborliness. Where’d this come from?

He makes me seethe and I don’t want to.


14 thoughts on “BUZZ KILL

  1. Sometimes you just have an allergic reaction to people. Too bad you can’t just take a Reactin.

      • Slowly but surely apparently. I’ve actually eased off. The cat up a tree was awhile ago. The coming in to where he works was a few days ago. But I generally grunt now, it’s not worth it and I”m probably moving anyway in June. Not cause of him, other reasons too. This of course is an over-dramatization haha 🙂 Hope you’re doing well up there! We’re supposed to get clobbered with snow for the FIRST time this week (if it happens).

      • Shite! Do you have boots? It’s cold but thankfully no snow since the last time. Good luck!

  2. Yo Pete, this has the makings of some crazy fiction here… the morose unfriendly neighbor and your ever-growing attempts to get to know him… sounds like it could be perfectly creepy.

    • I’ve lived in places with nicer neighbors. You know when you’d see them outside it was civil and you talked about the weather and stuff. So that’s missing where I am now I guess, some sense of community. Plus I have to look at him haha

  3. Such paradoxical emotions. From wanting to be nice, to despising. I agree with journeyintopoetry, about the sense of community. Except, where I live, it already has gone away. Sigh.

    • You can see how I express my own struggles with idealism through my writing and disappointment in the “state of things” like our collective loss of community. Community’s still out there and personally I’ll always work to make things better in my own universe. Pricks like this don’t need to be in my radar. But I can’t help reach out. I overstate the situation somewhat to make a point as I personally find my own conflict humorous. Would I rather be a person who passively accepts how things are? Or really gets mad in response and starts trouble? 🙂 I’ll stay idealistic.

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