HOMELESS NEWS

Of all the wacky things we thought Facebook might roll out for its ninth birthday, Homeless News most coveted the replacement of the LIKE button with the YAY! button. Facebook’s been flat. The LIKE overused. We really need some pep. We’d rather click on YAY!

The world’s too morose.

Talks of more deal-making today sent the stock market higher today. The Dow Jones industrial average soared to near its all-time high at the close of trading. Homeless News also learned funding for the WIC program’s been cut 30%, sugary candy will no longer be available in vending machines at Fairview High, and the inane chatter about the Streisand Effect and Beyonce and the Church of Scientology we think has finally run its course.

It has here right?

This just in: Homeless News reports that the influx of so many one-percenters to our quiet outpost (and their aspirees), is brewing discontent. At least that’s how Fairview Chamber of Commerce President James Hoople sees it, he of the Hoople drugstore family?  “Now I know I’m gonna get flak from the national office for saying this, but these folks don’t have any lasting interest in Fairview. They’re only here to make a buck off our back. Where’s the trickle down? It’s more like trickle up!” Our own residents can’t find jobs and they’re putting our mom and pops out of business, bulldozing our countryside, building up, on any piece of land, just so more city folk can move in. They come here for our peaceful way of life then try to recreate where they came from!”

Does that bring happiness?

Homeless News correspondents are on the beat!  We care about trickle down but care more about bringing it to you from the horse’s mouth.

Fairview weather next.

trickle

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6 thoughts on “HOMELESS NEWS

  1. Pingback: HOMELESS NEWS SPRING PLEDGE DRIVE | Pete Armetta

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