WHERE I’M GOING I’LL STAY

Hey, I thought about you and it was quiet and measured and a nice harkening back.  I thought about you and feel in my heart I can forgive you.  I wish I could’ve sooner. I just need you to know. Back then, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t.  I know it took an awful lot for you to say you were sorry. And you were brokenhearted when I didn’t accept it.

I’m sorry.

I tried to look you up to tell you, but heard you left in June. They say you’re in the Horn of Africa, pursuing your dream of everything egalitarian. I know you’ll make a difference- you always did. But I wonder are you ever coming back? I hope to tell you now everything’s okay.

I’m sorry.

The taxi’s out front and my ticket’s in my coat pocket. You know for me it’s harder to move on than it ever was for you. I’ve never felt like my hands were anything but tied.  You’ve done and seen so much. I haven’t and I’m out of my mind. That’s what got me to thinking about you. I mean with all that’s gone on since I’ve seen you, all the trials and tribulations, and the idea of my leaving was never an option. Meanwhile you carry on, continuing to grow and forge ahead. I’m stuck. Years ago it would have been so much easier. Now not so much.

Not since you.

Because like so many people, you refuse to let fear rule your life. It inspires me and quite honestly, here I sit scared shitless- it’s the thinking of you that’s kept me putting one foot in front of the other. I’m filled with admiration. For you as a person.

So thanks.

Am I right it’s the Horn of Africa or did I hear wrong? Or have you gone from there to somewhere new, wholeheartedly embracing things the way you always did, taking in new sights and experiences? That may be true and I hope so. But I can’t help but think where I’m going I’ll stay.

Who knows?

I have to leave now but thanks again. It’s people like you who make the old adage true: “In your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. You’ve only made it better.

whereimgoingillstay

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14 thoughts on “WHERE I’M GOING I’LL STAY

  1. Pete, that’s Beautiful!! Plus, you read it so well. (‘Fear’:  How limiting – I’ve heard it defined as The Opposite of Love). Thanx, always, for your thoughts.

    ________________________________

  2. A recording!!! FABULOUS! 🙂 Thank you. You have a great voice and it’s brilliant to hear you read this. Love it! 🙂

    What I also really appreciated was hearing and reading it with the little edits that you’d made. I love the refrain where you refer to the Horn of Africa again, it’s just nice stylistically. Really enjoyed it. Thanks so much for sharing this! 😀

    • The edits were mistakes! haha It never reads out loud EXACTLY word for word although I try. I may redo this one anyway, it could be a little better. I’m trying not to sound like I’m reading and that’s not easy. 🙂

      Thanks I’m glad you liked it and appreciate you saying so.

      Hey did you ever hear of a show called The Book Group? I found it on Netflix and watched the two seasons and LOVE it. It’s a bunch of Anglos (Scottish, English plus Swedes and Americans and Spansh) and I think was a popular show there in the UK.

      Pete

      • Pete, it sounded really natural and I liked your edits/ad libbing. You have a great voice and are really good at reading. Go you! If I did this (with my accent) I might need to add subtitles as well! 😉

        I have heard of ‘The Book Group’, but I’ve never watched it. So funny, the guy in the wheel chair (not really disabled) he used to advertise Scottish Porridge Oats. He was supposed to be a sexy, kilt wearing, highlander. He climbed a ladder to reach the box on the top shelf and the pervy women down below were catching an eyefull of his “goods”! It’s funny the things you remember. If you like the Scottish woman, she’s called Michelle Gomez, look up ‘Green Wing’ on youtube or Netflix. It’s a really quirky/quite surreal British comedy set in a hospital. It and she in particular are hysterical! 🙂

      • How about you reading some of your writing out loud? 🙂 Go to http://www.soundcloud.com and make it happen! I’d love to hear your accent haha Oh I’m gonna have to check out that Green Wing. I’m always looking for new quality TV especially comedies. !!

  3. Great writing. I seriously enjoy your style and how relatable to mine own life experiences. Not only this piece but others as well. I’m really going to have to stalk your page to read more…You have a book for sale?

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