There he goes again. I knew this would happen.
He was standing behind the podium, tapping the microphone, looking around the room. “Is this thing on, hello?”
Gosh, everyone’s laughing and smirking. I looked around and could see a sense of smug satisfaction on the people in the ballroom, people he’s known his whole career.
“Thank you very much,” he started. “I, uh…”
I could see sweat beading his forehead, and his eyes bugging out some. Is he gonna make it? He’s as pale as a sheet and visibly nervous and stammering. How embarrassing.
“I’m Jack Huntington…”
“YEH we know who you are!” someone yelled from their seat. Who was that? I turned around and looked in the back of the hall and saw a table of folks giving each other high fives and cackling. It was one of them.
“Yeh, I’m Jack Huntington.”
It wouldn’t be long now. Jack was wringing his hands and rustling with his notes. We could hear his heavy breathing and panting and wow, is that drool?
“I’d like to begin the program by…”
“Thank you for the honor of addressing you today. We’ve worked for many, many years on this project as you know- since way before Skull & Bones. The population is now under control and we’re in a strong position to begin the next phase.” He picked up his face from his notes and surveyed the room. “I must apologize that Lady Gaga couldn’t join us today. She had a prior commitment. As you all know, without her near perfect execution of the requirements, it’s questionable whether we’d be where we are today.”
Okay now he’s getting rhythm. I watched as he regained composure, reading his prepared speech, thanking the appropriate people etc. He was now firmly in command.
“Yes our zeitgeist is the culmination of the work of many- going back many, many years. I personally am most thankful to Oprah, however we should be quite pleased that Barack Obama has done much better than predicted. Once he’s reelected we can get him moving on phase two.”
Mild chuckling, some applause.
Jack took a sip of water and wiped his forehead with his handkerchief, one with images of AOL logos and CBS eyes and Stars of Davids and pyramids- the ones they gave out to all of us in 2008, right after the first big financial crisis hit. He smiled with satisfaction and looked around the room.
From the back table in a loud bellowing voice, “Okay we’ve had enough of you Huntington, get off the stage!”
The crowd chimed in, “Get off the stage!” They started stomping their feet. and clapping loudly. In unison they began to shout: “Get off the stage Huntington! Off the stage!”
Jack picked up his papers and put his mouth to the microphone. “Thank you.” He walked off the podium and resumed his seat at the dais. Who’s the next speaker? I looked down at my agenda. Oh Lord, Alan Greenspan. Doesn’t he have a day job?
I was hoping for Zuckerberg.