It’s the middle of the night again. Well, 4:20 in the morning. As you probably know, 4:20 is supposedly the designated worldwide moment when cannabis smokers can light up, although I’m pretty sure PM is what’s intended. A stoner-bonding thing or something. Don’t get me wrong I’m not sitting here smoking weed (although maybe I should be), but everyday at 4:20PM is there be a string of folks worldwide sitting down for a pot break? And what about on the BIG day: April 20th? Is that what you’ll be doing at 4:20 on 4/20?  Pot smokers unite!  I only bring it up as last week I was sitting around with some good friends and for some reason we  looked at the clock and it was 4:20PM and they got all excited. I yawned. I asked them what the big deal was and they looked at me oddly, laughing some, and explained. I told them that yeh I’d heard of that, but didn’t really take it into account or even care.

They thought that was pretty square of me.

Of course I shrugged this off. Square?  Yeh right. Anything but! Conventionality or acquiescence are not characteristics of my make-up (not that you asked). It’s all just a ruse anyway.  Besides, there’s such a glut of useless and impractical information nowadays and most of it doesn’t affect me personally, so why care?

I’ve got my own set of rules.

So I’m off from work today and have no plans at the moment, except enjoying my coffee hour here. I like it that way. I can do what I want when I want. I may be sitting here more today than I’d like to be, which happens. But I’m also writing (if you call this writing), which I do an awful lot of and never at all consider a waste of time.  It’s how I roll. But my ass does get to hurting in this damn chair and because of the wonderful weather my intention is to get outside for a few hours at least. My destination will be the woods and the river, which is easy as they’re right across the street from where I’m “living” at the moment.  And I have to enjoy it while it lasts (the living here part). It doesn’t look like I’m going to be here much longer, which is GOOD. Besides, there’s really nothing in the world that I enjoy more than a modest and easy little get away, and spending time outdoors for me is priceless. Good for the psyche. I generally feel like a caged animal inside. I have a very strong part of me that craves and needs my natural connection and REAL air, and an insatiable need to get away from the concrete and cars and bustle.

I abhor so much of the modern life.

March sucked. In a lot of ways anyway. There was lots of hoopla, most of it really good, some of it disturbing. March was bipolar. And exhausting. All this through no action of my own mind you. Well, through action of my own, but some unexpected outcomes. Ups and downs, thrills and spills, a rollercoaster ride of emotions thrown in for good measure. I felt totally fucked with. But I swear I was minding my own business!

I got a rest in so now I’m good.

So lots of change is forthcoming. And over the last few years I’ve certainly gotten VERY used to that. My life now is NOTHING like it was back THEN. It’s all just a dream now.  I have no problem adjusting to change though; as a matter of fact I say bring it on!  My challenge though is that it never seems to come quickly enough, and is coupled with so much uncertainty and mystery. So I sit like usual on the precipice waiting and WAITING. Can’t impact what you can’t change yourself right?

I’m sure it’ll all turn out just fine.



  1. I like the entire world is waiting, waiting, waiting. We all seem to be in a kind of breathless state of anticipation, but too exhausted to do much under the weight of it but continue on as we can/do/have and wait some more. I hear ya.

  2. I do hate politics but one of the good things said about waiting was by Obama&for the first time in our recent world a politician speaks few right words:)
    “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

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