They’ll say nice things about me after I’m gone. At my funeral. If I have one that is. Securing a pauper’s grave is not an easy thing to come by, I know. But however it turns out, I’m sure they’ll wax eloquent about my good qualities, and most certainly mention my “otherworldness”. Well I hope they mention that, as it is one of my strong suits, and one I’ve been quite expert at fulfilling.
I wouldn’t want them to miss that one.
They’ll wonder about me. They’ll ask lots of questions, seem at a loss for words mostly. They’ll go to and fro and back and forth on whether my life had any meaning or if my time spent here was just a waste. Not really use those words but those questions will be behind their eyes, come out in some form. But I don’t mind that, as I ask myself these questions all the time anyway. Plus people love a mystery and a riddle. Yes, they can ask as much as they like, after I’m gone.
They can discuss it with me today too, I’d never mind. But there’s no chance they will.
I’m sure they’ll have good food, as an honor to my love of just eating things, both food and yes life. And they wouldn’t want to do me wrong on that front. I very much hope they break bread together, I’ve always believed in the significance of that. And besides, I’ve always had good taste, not only in food but in much.
So aesthetics ought to be discussed, although that’s not much of a priority for folks nowadays I know.
They’ll be somewhat happy, well no, just relieved. “No one should shoulder the burdens that he did,” they’ll say. Well they probably won’t say that. Isn’t it human nature to not want to talk about such things, to dismiss any empathy? Everyone has it so hard and so often. They probably won’t want to admit or acknowledge that part.
I don’t mind, I wouldn’t want to put anyone out.
They’ll say just the good things most likely, even exaggerate some. And that’s okay. I’ll want them to move on, to put me behind them, feel strong. To live the best that they can, with some joy and some happiness, to feel that they have some purpose, that their life has some meaning, that they’re integral to the overall scheme of things, are in synch with the universe and belong standing right where they are.
I hope most for that, being that’s how I feel.